Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
