For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
