I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Your dad touched me again.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
