And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
