My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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