ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
