is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
