Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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