in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
