the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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