just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
