I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
