who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
