The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Where are you guys?
Drunk
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
