38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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