The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
