Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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