You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
