their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Randomize
