i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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