Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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