I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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