I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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