Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
