In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
