stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
