Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
