i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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