He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize