Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
