All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
