she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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