that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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