So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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