never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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