I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
