Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
