I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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