at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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