Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Randomize
