This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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