Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
