the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
