i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
