Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
