i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
