Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
