I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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