it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
