It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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