i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
