one two three fourrrrnication!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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